Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Storytelling for Week 6: Everybody Wants to be a Cat

Hanuman finally crossed the ocean and arrived at the city of Lanka. It had been months since Ravana stole Sita, Rama’s wife. Hanuman promised Rama he would find his beautiful wife and return her to him. Rama’s camp had heard she was here but it was up to Hanuman to find where she was being held prisoner. Hanuman was in awe at the beauty of Lanka. The gates shimmered in the moonlight and everything appeared to be made of precious stones.

There were four gates at Lanka facing each cardinal direction. Upon the walls were many rakshasas, demon sentries. The sentries were dispersed throughout the tops of the walls standing watch. Hanuman became as small as a fly and snuck through a crack in the city wall. Searching for Sita in his true form as a monkey would be questionable. Hanuman would be discovered to easily. He then shifted into an unkempt black cat in order to avoid detection. He prowled through the city streets, peering through every household window. He saw many things, none of which helped in his quest for Sita. Lanka appeared strange through his cat eyes. He could see through the night with amazing clarity. What once would have appeared as shadowy silhouettes in the distance was now a clear picture of a rakshasa and a rakshasi making their way home.

Hanuman tried to speak to the couple and ask if they had seen Sita but the only thing that came from his mouth was a low purr. The couple exclaimed and began to pet him. Hanuman was confused and hissed as he ran away. Hanuman was easily distracted in his new form. He was unable to control his urge to pounce as mice scurried past him in the streets. Hanuman discovered a secret underground colony of mice. He was delighted and immediately chased after a small brown mouse that disappeared into a hole in the gutter. Hanuman turned around and saw a grey mouse staring right at him. He took off after the mouse but it was also too fast. Hours passed as Hanuman was playing with the mice. Hanuman finally remembered he had come here on a mission. Hanuman quickly scampered away to continue searching for Rama’s bride.

Hanuman slinked toward Ravana’s palace, ever watchful. The guards paid no heed to the wild black cat entering the gate. Hanuman first saw Ravana’s concubines, littering the floor in one massive empty room. He made his way through these women but none were as beautiful as Sita was said to be. There were leftover salmon crumbs from last night's feast on a great table. Hanuman leapt up onto the table and started licking the fish. Hanuman did not know what had taken over him but knew he must find Sita soon. He heard a beautiful but sad song off in the distance behind the palace. Hanuman followed the music and found the sad and lonely Sita withering under a tree with tears slowly running down her face. He quickly changed back into his monkey form so he could speak again. Hanuman jumped around with joy and raced to tell Sita that he had come to rescue her.



File:Hanuman allowing himself to be taken before Ravana.jpg

Author's Note- A song in the Disney movie The Aristocats inspired the title for my story. I decided to tell the story of Hanuman becoming a cat while he is searching for Sita. I chose this because I found it very humorous in the Ramayana. I wanted to describe how he could see very clearly at night which was an obvious advantage in the search for Sita. I also wanted to illustrate some of his feline urges which I thought were funny in the original story. I liked how they showed Hanuman acting as a cat but I wanted to make it my own in my story. The basic premise is the same, but I altered minor details. I changed the way that Hanuman found Sita in the story. In Buck's version Vayu the Wind Lord helped Hanuman find Sita with his gusts of wind. That eventually led Hanuman to Sita. In the original story Hanuman strikes Lanka before he enters the city. I decided to take out that part and make up a new way for him to enter. I thought that it would just take up unnecessary space in my story. It’s fun and easy for me to write about cats because I can use my experiences as a cat owner to add new details. My own cat likes to jump on the table and eat off my plate, so I wanted to keep that the same. 

Bibliography-Buck, William (1976) "Hanuman's Jump"Ramayana:King Rama's Way 228-241

14 comments:

  1. First off, the title was great. It instantly caught my attention. This story was very fun to read. Having Hanuman giving into his natural cat tendencies was such a good idea, especially since he would be so confused as to what was happening and what he was doing. It was a fun little addition to the story. I really enjoyed your story. Well done!

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  2. Hi, Scott! This was a great story! I loved reading it from the perspective of Hanuman as a cat. I especially enjoyed the word choice used to describe him, such as “pounce,” “slink,” and “prowl.” They really add to the characterization of Hanuman in his cat form. I also thought it was interesting to read how Hanuman’s personality differed as a cat in comparison to as a monkey. He is more distracted and curious as a cat, and I thought that was a great addition to the story. Great job!

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  3. Hey Scott! I thought your story title was really funny. It took me back to the aristocats, that's for sure. Your story was intriguing, and offered a fun and new change to the original story. However, I think you could have fleshed out your author's note a lot more! It gave us a vague idea of some of the changes that you made, but I wanted to know more details as opposed to short sentences that give the basic meaning. Overall though, good story.

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  4. The total instantly caught my attention, but mostly because I hate cats and could not disagree more. However, the authors note obviously cleared that up as I had no idea it was the title of a song. This actually ties in with one of the stories I have written very well as I wrote pretty much starting right where you left off. I chose to tell the story of Hanuman rescuing Sita, mainly cause I had an idea for Hanuman destroying Lanka that I wanted to write about at the end.

    Anyways, great story overall. I enjoyed the different events in his journey as a cat to find Sita. Pretty funny how much easier being a cat made it for him than being a monkey. I guess there is quite a bit of truth behind that though when you think about it. If you are walking down the street and see a cat you won't do anything but you would be startled to see a monkey. Either way very creative and I enjoyed the story. Look forward to reading more from your portfolio later in the semester.

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  5. Of course I chose to read the story about Hanuman being a cat. I specifically love that you included the part about him chasing mice for hours and how he couldn’t control the urge to pounce as they passed. What would he have done if he had caught one?! I think that could be a fun detail you add or maybe even another story. I like that you included that he did a happy dance of a sort once he found Site. The cat like details in your story help paint this story as it actually happened; I can see my own cats doing those things. Also the detail in your authors note about your cats wanting to eat off your plate…on point! My cats are the worst about that…which is kind of embarrassing when you have company. They definitely know what a spray bottle is, I don’t even have to spray it anymore.

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  6. Hi Scott!
    First off, I love your story title! It’s so fun! I also like the way you begin your story. You include enough background to make the story understandable to an outside reader, without making it overly detailed and boring for someone like me, who has already read the original story you are playing off of. Good job!
    You are a good writer; I love your use of interesting and varied words. It added a lot to your story. I also love how you emphasized Hanuman’s personality changes while in cat-form.
    Below are a few minor corrections you might consider:
    This sentence was taken from your second paragraph: “Hanuman would be discovered to easily.” You used the wrong form of “to/too/two” here. It should be “too easily”, not just one “o”.
    This sentence was in your third paragraph: “Hanuman turned around a saw a grey mouse staring right at him.” I think you meant, “Hanuman turned around and saw a grey mouse…” You might want to change “a” to “and” here.

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  7. Hi Scott! I really like the title of your story! I think it goes along with your story great and it is an attention grabber! You did a great job with detail and imagery throughout your story! I love that you included that Hanuman had attempted to speak but the only thing that would come out of his moth was a purr. You did a really good job of describing what it was like for Hanuman to be a cat and getting into Hanuman’s head to explain his thoughts while trying to find Sita. I thought it was funny that you had Hanuman eat the leftover fish, unable to suppress his cat instinct!

    The only thing I wish is that there was more detail at the end of your story. Like how did Hanuman tell Sita he had come to rescue her if you couldn’t speak? And what was her reaction to finding out they were coming to save her?

    Wonderful job on this story and I am looking forward to reading more stories from you as the semester continues!

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  8. Scott,

    Your creative title ‘Everybody Wants to be a Cat’ caught my eye and made me want to read your story! I like your descriptions and I particularly enjoyed how Hanuman was so easily distracted. You illustrate that well in your story by dedicating at least a paragraph to his enthusiasm towards the mice. You also had great verb choice which helps the vividness of your story! I can only imagine Hanuman slinking around in Lanka.

    A few fixes (I am by no means an English major, so take these with a grain of salt):
    In the second paragraph, change ‘to’ to ‘too’; ‘Hanuman would be discovered too easily.’
    Try to eliminate some of the passive verbs. This is the hardest thing for me to do (I just finished revising my own story for these so I paid more attention to it in your story). A few instances where I found them are: Second paragraph: ‘The sentries were dispersed…’; ‘Hanuman would be discovered…’; Third paragraph: ‘Hanuman was confused…’; Hanuman was easily distracted…’; He was delighted…’
    There are a few missing commas. Here are some examples: Third paragraph: ‘Hanuman tried to speak to the couple and ask if they had seen Sita, but…’; Fourth paragraph: ‘The guards paid no heed to the wild, black cat…’; ‘He made his way through these women, but..’

    I think you did a great job!

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  9. Scott, I absolutely love the title of your story!! I am so glad that I clicked it because you did an exceptional job portraying Hanuman's character. I really enjoyed the details you illustrated because it helped me connect to your story easily. You have great writing skills as well, but I did run into just a few small grammatical errors. The few people above have pretty much gotten what I saw, so I will not repeat that! Overall, I really enjoyed your portfolio and writing style!! Great job!

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  10. Hey Scott!

    While browsing your portfolio I realized I HAD to read this story as soon as I saw the title since I am a cat lover. I find it so funny that in your Author’s Note you mentioned how your own cat motivated parts of your story and I love that an Aristocats song inspired your title. I also loved the part where the mice distract Hanuman because it reminded me of the scene in Up (also a Disney movie) where the dog gets distracted by squirrels constantly!

    I loved all of your descriptions of Lanka and felt like you effectively described what the city would like through a cat’s eyes. There were small grammatical errors, but I feel like they are covered in the above comments. And most of them were so small they did not take away from the quality of your writing.

    Overall, great story! It was a lot of fun to read.

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  11. Hi Scott!
    I chose to read your portfolio for my free choice this week. The first story I chose to look over was Everybody Wants to be a Cat, because the story title seemed very interesting to me! I think you did a great job in choosing this title. I think that you did a great job with the descriptions in this story. It really helps the reader picture the scene and what is going on. It is funny reading the story through the view of a cat. I love that you talked about how Hanuman was easily distracted and when he tried to talk it was just a purr. I am glad that he found Sita in the end!
    I love that you chose a song from The Aristocats for the title of your story! I didn’t realize it until I read it in your author’s note. I love that movie! I think that you did a great job of making this story your own and I love that you used your experience as a cat owner to add details into the story! Good job!

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  12. Scott,

    This comment is for your storytelling titled “Everybody Wants to be a Cat.” I have to admit that I’m impressed at how well your story flowed. I can tell that you have included some personal experiences with the cat’s characteristics – this was great for your story. There were a few areas that I thought could improve your story overall. First, I think that your story would greatly benefit from a bit of dialogue between the characters you’ve included. For example, I thought that the book did a fine job of incorporating dialogue into the events occurring in the story to give it a well-rounded plot. Additionally, you could include some of the character’s inner thoughts to describe the “strange appearance” to the cat. Also, you may want to consider editing the sentence beginning with “Hanuman would be detected…” to actually read ‘too easily.’ Overall, I thought your story was good with the potential to be even better.

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  13. Hello Scott! I enjoyed reading this story. The story had a great flow and it was very easy to follow throughout the story. My favorite thing about your story was the title. The title "everybody wants to be a cat" draws the eye to the readers. I've actually never watched the aristocrats, but it sounds like a great movie. Good job!

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  14. Hello Scott! I enjoyed reading this story. The story had a great flow and it was very easy to follow throughout the story. My favorite thing about your story was the title. The title "everybody wants to be a cat" draws the eye to the readers. I've actually never watched the aristocrats, but it sounds like a great movie. Good job!

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